At least make sure they are 18
Why
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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