Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
