peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
