I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
