trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
