Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
