U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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