Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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