ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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