She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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