If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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