you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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