terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
