Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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