Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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