Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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