you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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