I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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