When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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