i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
