I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize