We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
