It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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