Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
