I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
