My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
false alarm, still single
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