drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
