I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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