You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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