oh god the rape fog is back!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
