i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
