So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
