i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
