STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize