Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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