The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
