I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
