i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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