Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
