your room smells of hookers.
And success
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
