so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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