I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
