You can't special order awesome
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
