direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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