Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
