smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize