One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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