The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
