I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
