Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
