Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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