you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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