Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
