Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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