so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
