absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i barfeds in our rink
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
