My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
as a side note pls kill me
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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