I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
