Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
