Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
