don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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