the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
