the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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